Sue Scheff: Teens Drinking and Driving

Drinking and driving is dangerous, that is a no brainer - so why are we still having deaths related to drunk driving? As a parent it is our job and our responsibility to constantly remind our kids that drinking and driving don’t mix. Like commericials we have all seen, even though we may sound like a broken record, our kids/teens roll their eyes with their “I know mom/dad” – we still need to repeat it over and over again – they are listening.

Here are some great parent tips from Connect with Kids.

Alcohol Deaths Among Young Adults

Source: Connect with Kids

“I woke up in the driver’s seat, blood all over me, glass everywhere.”

– ‘Nick,’ 17-year-old drunk driver.

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that more young people today are dying from alcohol-related accidents. Among 18 to 24 year olds, the number of deaths has risen by over 20 percent in the last ten years.

“I woke up in the driver’s side seat, blood all over me, glass everywhere. The doctors said my friend had 48 hours to live,” says ‘Nick,’ whose identity we’ve agreed to protect. This was the third time he wrecked a car while drunk.

His friend survived the accident.

The latest surveys report that 45 percent of kids report binge drinking and 29 percent admit to drinking and driving. The result? The number of 18 to 24 year olds dying from alcohol related accidents is on the rise.

And that’s not all says Jim Mosher, director of the Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation. “It’s the number one contributor to youth deaths, injuries, including violence, suicide, car crashes, and other forms of serious harm. In addition it undermines school work, it undermines family relationships. It is a main contributor to sexual assaults among young people, which is on the rise across the country.”

Like many kids, ‘Nick’ had his first drink from his parent’s liquor cabinet. He was 12. “I loved it, I was off to the races then. It made me feel ten feet tall and bulletproof,” he says.

“The parents aren’t aware that their kids are even interested in drinking,” says Ari Russell, executive director of GUIDE, a community based substance abuse prevention agency. “They just think that they are too young to start thinking about alcohol. And so they are not checking their supplies, they are not seeing is the whiskey going down in the bottle. Is there a beer missing from the refrigerator? Is there a wine cooler missing from the refrigerator? They are not even paying attention to it.”

Experts say parents need to insist that their kids don’t drink, even if that causes a big argument and makes you unpopular. “But isn’t that part of being a parent?” says Dr. Robert Margolis, an alcohol and drug counselor. “Aren’t there certain things worth fighting? Aren’t there certain lines worth drawing, where you say, ‘Okay. You know, I’m not going to worry so much about how long his hair is. I may not worry about the cd’s that he listens to. But when it comes to drinking, then I’m going to fight that battle.”

After one too many close calls, Nick is now sober. “It’s just a hundred times, a thousand times better.”


Tips for Parents
Research defines binge drinking as having five or more drinks in a row. Reasons adolescents give for binge drinking include: to get drunk, the status associated with drinking, the culture of drinking on campus, peer pressure and academic stress. Binge drinkers are 21 times more likely to: miss class, fall behind in schoolwork, damage property, injure themselves, engage in unplanned and/or unprotected sex, get in trouble with the police, and drink and drive.

Young people who binge drink could be risking serious damage to their brains now and increasing memory loss later in adulthood. Adolescents may be even more vulnerable to brain damage from excessive drinking than older drinkers. Consider the following:

•The average girl takes her first sip of alcohol at age 13. The average boy takes his first sip of alcohol at age 11.
•Underage drinking causes over $53 billion in criminal, social and health problems.
•Seventy-seven percent of young drinkers get their liquor at home, with or without permission.
•Students who are binge drinkers in high school are three times more likely to binge drink in college.
•Nearly 25 percent of college students report frequent binge drinking, that is, they binged three or more times in a two-week period.
•Autopsies show that patients with a history of chronic alcohol abuse have smaller, less massive and more shrunken brains.
•Alcohol abstinence can lead to functional and structural recovery of alcohol-damaged brains.
Alcohol is America’s biggest drug problem. Make sure your child understands that alcohol is a drug and that it can kill him/her. Binge drinking is far more pervasive and dangerous than boutique pills and other illicit substances in the news. About 1,400 students will die of alcohol-related causes this year. An additional 500,000 will suffer injuries.

A study by the Harvard School of Public Health showed that 51 percent of male college students and 40 percent of female college students engaged in binge drinking in the previous two weeks. Half of these drinkers binged frequently (more than three times per week). College students who binge drink report:

•Interruptions in sleep or study habits (71 percent).
•Caring for an intoxicated student (57 percent).
•Being insulted or humiliated (36 percent).
•An unwanted sexual experience (23 percent).
•A serious argument (23 percent).
•Damaging property (16 percent).
•Being pushed, hit or assaulted (11 percent).
•Being the victim of a sexual advance assault or date rape (1 percent).
Students must arrive on college campuses with the ability to resist peer pressure and knowing how to say no to alcohol. For many youngsters away from home for the first time, it is difficult to find the courage to resist peer pressure and the strength to answer peer pressure with resounding no. Parents should foster such ability in their child’s early years and nurture it throughout adolescence. Today’s youth needs constant care from parents and community support to make the best decisions for their wellbeing.


References
•Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
•Harvard School of Public Health
•National Youth Violence Prevention Center
Visit www.helpyourteens.com and www.connectwithkids.com

Sue Scheff: Kids Awareness Series

Parent networking is a great way to expand resources, tips, advice, and more! Today I was introduced to a new website – Kids Awareness Series. Kara Tamanini has worked in the mental health field for 15 years and specializes in ADHD. Her first book – Understanding ADHD is available now through Amazon and visiting her website.

One of her recent articles is how parents deal with ODD – Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

How Parents can deal with an ODD child

Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder exhibit an ongoing pattern of resistant, hostile, and uncooperative behaviors. These behaviors are often a challenge for parents and make the child’s behavior very difficult to deal with. Parents need support and undersanding and there are a number of things parents can do to help themselves and their child with ODD. First of all, build on the positive behaviors that you see in your child.

No child is bad every single second of every day. Point out good behaviors and praise them and reinforce the behaviors that are appropriate. Pick your battles! I can not stress this enough. If you argue every single; solitary point, you as the parent will be absolutely exhausted. Yes, I know it is difficult to let some things go as a parent, but you can not address every single thing. Avoid getting into a power struggle. Remember, ODD kids love to argue!

Prioritize the things that you want your child to do. Set up limits/boundaries for your child and stick to them. Bad behavior is only reinforced by you as the parent when consequences for behavior are not consistent. Do not change the consequences or become lax on them, just because you are tired of fighting the fight. Stick to your guns here. You as the parent should manage your own stress level and try to relax. Have interests of your own and try to spend time away. Have a support system in place. Nobody should feel they are alone with no one to rely on.

Take a time out for yourself if you see that you are about to lose your cool. Walk away until you can calm down. Staying in the situation where you are arguing with your child will only exacerbate the situation. Children with ODD often respond to parenting techniques if used consistently and in a positive manner. A behavioral contract is often needed with ODD children, but more on this in my next post.

Learn more about Kara at http://kidsawarenessseries.com/ and follow her at Twitter @KidTherapist

Sue Scheff: Facebook Do's and Dont's from MomLogic

Source: MomLogic.com

Here's all you need to know, courtesy of MomLogic contributor and Internet Safety Specialist Lori Getz.

There's no doubt that manners are important. But who knew that there would be a whole new set of etiquette for online interactions? Well, there are. In part two of our Cyber Safety series, find out the do's and don'ts of Facebook.

Do: Check your privacy settings!Within Facebook, there are 3 "Settings" tabs: Account, Privacy, and Applications. These settings allow you to control everything from how your page looks to who can see what you post. Within the Privacy setting alone, there are 4 sub-categories, each with several options. It is important that you read through all of them and make appropriate decisions about who can see what!

Do not: Use friending to alienate or become "famo."A friend request is a precious thing. Do you remember walking up to a new friend on the kindergarten playground and asking him or her to be your friend? Well, welcome to the 21st century version. You don't want to use this power to alienate others, but at the same time, you only want to let people in that you know in the physical world. "Famo" refers to becoming Internet Famous. Kids love to "collect friends," whether they know them or not. The more friends you have, the more famo you are. People you meet online that you don't know face-to-face are strangers. It's just not safe to let them into your inner circle!

Do not: Use the Honesty Box to slander or defame others. The honesty box in Facebook is an application on your profile page where people can drop anonymous comments. When teens use this feature, it is usually to harass one another. That's just plain old cyber-bullying!Do: Control who sees your News Feeds.On the top menu bar of Facebook, you have 4 main options: Home, Profile, Friends, and Inbox. On the Home page, you see the News Feeds. These are status updates of what your friends are doing and thinking (much like Twitter). Make sure you know who can see these updates -- you will find this control in the Privacy setting. You wouldn't want to accidentally tell the world you are leaving town for the weekend and that your house will be empty.

Do not: Fall for Phishing scams.Phishing is the act of attempting to trick users into divulging sensitive and personal information by directing them to a fake website that collects things like usernames, passwords, credit card numbers, etc. Facebook has encountered several phishing scams where you will receive a link in your inbox directing you to a new page that looks like Facebook but requires you to log in again.

DON'T DO IT! At the log-in page, the hacker is now waiting for you to type in your username and password so they can collect it. Hackers usually do this to steal your identity and break into other accounts where the username and password may be the same (such as your online banking account). If you are redirected to a page where you are asked to re-enter your username and password or any personal information, scrutinize it carefully. If you are unsure and don't need to access the page, just close the window and forget about it.

Do: Read the Terms of Service.Have you ever noticed in Facebook that it appears the ads seem to be just for you? That's because Facebook scans your posting and accesses your personal information in order to learn what you like and don't like. That way they can attach appropriate advertisers to your page. It's a great way to direct-market. Make sure you read Facebook's Terms of Service and understand their role in the content you post.

Do not: Poke incessantly -- it's annoying!I think this one is pretty straightforward. Poking is a way to let someone know you are trying to get his or her attention. But there is no message attached, just the fact that you received a poke. Can you imagine if someone sat next to you and poked you all day ... it would drive me crazy!

Do: Understand the difference between private messages and the Wall.The second option at the top of your Facebook page is Profile. This is your public Wall. Think of it like a billboard on Sunset Blvd. Everyone can see everything posted to your Wall, including passersby. If you want to send a friend a private note on Facebook, then send them a message rather than posting to their Wall. The Wall is not the right place to make plans or talk about personal things.

Do not: Use Facebook to send SPAM or chain letters.Not only are SPAM and chain letters annoying, they are usually sent to gather your personal information. A chain letter is created by one person and then sent to others. But every time you forward a chain letter, there is code in the e-mail that sends all of the e-mail addresses back to the creator of the chain letter. So don't give up your personal information or that of your friends by forwarding the e-mail. I promise you will not have bad luck for 7 years!

Sue Scheff: Teens and Peer Pressure

Visting About.com is a wealth of information regarding parenting, raising a family, health today and much more. Denise Witmer offers educational and excellent articles to help you help raise your children today.

5 Strategies for Preteens Handling Peer Pressure

By Denise Witmer

When your preteen first starts middle school they may be facing real peer pressure for the first time. Experimenting with smoking, drugs and skipping school does start at this age. This is because these recently elementary school graduates want to fit in with the older crowd. Here are some things you can do to help your preteen be prepare for when they are asked to do something that they normally wouldn’t do.

Be the first to say something. If you haven’t talked to your preteen about drugs, smoking or anything else they could be facing because they haven’t had to face that problem yet, talk to them now! Don’t avoid it until it becomes a problem or you start to see “signs”. Be proactive with your preteen.

Role play. Let your preteen be the one who offers you a cigarette. This will be an eye opening experience. Say no and keep saying no. When you preteen says, “I couldn’t say that”, ask them what they could say or do. Then role play with your preteen saying no. Practice until your preteen feels comfortable enough to do it on his own with his friends. Learn how to role play here.

Being rude is sometimes okay. Let your teenager know it is okay to avoid people who are trying to get him to do something he does not want to do, even if it is an old friend.

Let them make you the scape-goat. Tell your preteen that there is nothing wrong with using you as an excuse. Saying, “My mom would be so mad!” to a friend who is trying to get them to smoke is a perfectly good enough excuse to get out of the situation.

Be available. Be ready and available should they need to come to you with questions or thoughts on a situation. Even if your teen didn’t make the right choices, you can help them come up with a better solution the next time the situation arises.

Learn more: http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/peerpressure/a/preteenspeer.htm

Sue Scheff: Online Safety and Kids

The importance of family internet safety education and etiquette is often overlooked by both kids and teenagers today. While most teens are more ahead of the curve than most parents when it comes to the internet, they may not have the knowledge to help keep them safe from online dangers and its potentially negative effects.

On behalf of Girl Scouts of the USA and Microsoft Windows, I have been asked to to introduce you to a new initiative called “LMK (text-speak for “Let Me Know,”) which provides parents and girls with resources catering to both generations, and whose goal is to bridge the digital gap between parents and teenagers. On http://lmk.girlscouts.org/, the girl-targeted website, teens can find interactive quizzes, videos, and expert articles to be informed about online safety in a fun way! Girls can comment on the site content, sharing their thoughts, experiences and perspectives on topics many teens face everyday, like cyberbullying and social networking.

New content is posted periodically and will cover twelve different areas related to being a teen online today. Teens can even download an interactive patch they can share on social networking sites like Facebook, just by registering for the site at no cost. Best of all, it’s for all teenagers, not just Girl Scouts!

When parents visit http://letmeknow.girlscouts.org/, they can sign up for the e-newsletter written and developed by a team of “LMK Teen Editors” who are sharing their knowledge about the ways teens use technology and help parents understand it all. Parents will have the chance to learn need-to-know skills to keep them up to speed with what their kids are doing online too. Expert advice is also offered to give guidance on tougher issues.

If you could, please take a moment to visit these sites, learn more about the initiative, and the wonderful resources found on both http://lmk.girlscouts.org/ , and http://letmeknow.girlscouts.org/ and hopefully this will help you help your teens!

Sue Scheff: Families Fighting Flu, Inc

As a parent, you want to do everything in your power to protect your children. With the recent H1N1 flu outbreak (initially called “swine flu”), FFF is sharing some important steps that you can take right now to help protect you and your loved ones.

1. Covering your nose and mouth when you cough or sneeze. You can even teach your children to cough into their elbows.

2. Stressing the importance of washing hands often with soap and water. Any alcohol-based hand cleansers are effective as well.

3. Disinfecting frequently touched surfaces with an appropriate bleach-based solution. As you know, germs can spread by touching infected surfaces and then your eyes, nose or mouth.

For more information, please visit http://www.familiesfightingflu.org/ and please listen to this Public Service Announcement: http://www.westglen.com/online/17695.mp3

Sue Scheff: It's Up to You - Eating Healthy and Teens

IU2U.org - It’s Up to You….

What a great informational website on child obesity, eating healthy, and learning about how to make healthy changes in your family’s diet.

Live a Healthy Lifestyle by Dr. Oz Mehmet offers great advice on this fantastic website as well as other experts and professionals.

KNOW THE FACTS - Today teens are eating more and participating less in physical activity than the healthy amounts experts recommend.

What are kids eating - Kids’ Food has Excessive Sugar, Fat and Salt - learn more details here: http://iu2u.org/kids_food_trends.php

Effects of Obesity - It’s not just a “weight problem.” Learn the many ways becoming obese at a young age can affect a child now and in the future. Click on the figure below to see the effects of childhood obesity.

It’s Up 2 U!

12.5 million American children are obese. By 2010, this number will increase by 20%. Isn’t it time we make a change? Get on board with the Fit Kids Act today at http://iu2u.org/sign.php

Then, check out the four-week Chiquita Family Challenge complete with menus, daily fitness and activity charts , kid-friendly recipes from Chef Robert Rainford and lifestyle tips from Dr. Oz’s HealthCorps at http://iu2u.org/change_family_habits.php.

Learn more at http://iu2u.org/index.php and join their FaceBook group at http://apps.facebook.com/causes/271974